found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
