how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
