It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
