I'm jealous of your bromance
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
