i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
