i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I intend to get homeless drunk
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
