tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
