I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
