either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need to calm my uterus...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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