Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize