So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
