This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize