The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize
