Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize