what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
