that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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