you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
