is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
