She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
