You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
