You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They took my balls.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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