The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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