he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
organizing the empties. That sober.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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