I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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