Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
