If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
