I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize