her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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