There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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