it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
