you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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