if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
