: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
