Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
