her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
