Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
