Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
