i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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