i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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