I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
