All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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