she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
