Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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