A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
