Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
