just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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