Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
