id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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