I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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