just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
this will be a night to untag.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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