I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize