This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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