puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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