he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
