She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
