It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
