he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
