My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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