I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize