lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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