good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
