a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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