party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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