I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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