i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
