they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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