i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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