Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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