No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
