You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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