Fuck appropriateness.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
