I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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