Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
