What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
