I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
