i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
