Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
